Thoughts on Pesach

While trying to muster up the energy, which lately is ever lacking, and the drive, which is certainly gone, to clean for Pesach this morning, I found myself asking " Why is this so hard, so tedious, strenuous?" I have no ambition this year. I'm finding I have no energy. My anal tendency to clean thoroughly is gone. I'm told by some it's partly due to hormones..hurray. I watch my young, vibrant , daughter do things I used to, and wonder, will I ever get that back?
Back to my thoughts...as I was working on cleaning, and asking why it's so hard, I heard that very familiar voice ask, "Why at times is it so hard for me to clean you? Why at times do you resist? Why , sometimes, do I have to allow you to go through situations that are painful for Me to watch you endure to get you to get out of a situation or do My will?"
Those  words make my heart ache. I try so hard to be pliable to Him, and I've made great strides in that over the years. I'm much more ready and willing to submit to His voice. Still, it pains me to know that at times, for all my trying, I still bring Him sorrow and probably frustration. Yet, it comforts me even to hear those painful words He sends to cause me to check myself. I am pleased that I can so easily hear Him when He speaks, for to not hear His words, would fill me with fear of not walking in His presence.

This year, as Pesach approaches, I'm again meditating on the meaning of the Exodus and God's redemption of those He calls His, of being part of those whom Yeshua said can never be snatched from His hand. What a glorious place to be, in His hand. At times, though, this is a place of uncertainty, even as we trust Him with all we are. Each year, we are to re-read the Exodus account, and try to relate to the Israelites coming out of Egypt and how God has through times, taken us out of our present Egypt.
Four years ago, as I was at a friend's celebrating Pesach, I for the first time, related to the feelings of the Israelites. In the phase of life I was in, I was in a painful place. As we were going through the Haggadah, I sat there with tears filling my eyes, as I heard God say "I'm taking you out of Egypt". How very painful that was, full of mixed emotions. At that time, I knew God was not restoring my broken marriage. It was all I was familiar with, all I knew, even though not healthy, and I was full of fear of the unknown,as the Israelites surely would have been. I was being removed from my people, from what I knew, and taken into a wilderness of unknowns. At that same moment, a small part of me was excited to know I would be free from years of terrorism, control, rage aimed at me, hurtful words and actions of betrayal. I did not know where I would end up, where my promised land lay, but knew I had to trust the One who was in control of my life.

This year, again, through different circumstances, some of us have been taken out of Egypt. We are walking through the wilderness, wondering how long our journey will be, where will that awaited for promised land be. As of yet, we've only been shown glimpses of what God is doing as He brings healing, brings us glorious moments of time that we can immerse ourselves in Him through worship.
We follow the voice of our glorious Master, following the cloud of His presence, listening for His every instruction, following by faith the path layed in front of each of us, trusting Him to lead. We wait upon Him, seeking His face.
May we this year, continue to hear Him. May we continue to worship Him with ALL of our being in sweet surrender to the One who knows the outcome, who knows exactly where He will take us. May we all stay pliable to the Master potter who molds us into exactly what He planned before we drew our first breath.