The "F" Word

What is the "F" word to which I am referring? Well, let me put your mind at ease, it probably isn't the first one that popped into your head. lol
The "F" word I am talking about is friendship or friend. A lot of folks have an idea of what that word means.We all have friends at work. We have childhood  friends and high school friends. We have church friends , MOPS friends, cell group friends. In the modern age of technology , we have gaming friends, Myspace friends and Facebook friends. Might I be so bold as to say, upon greater examination, many of these included in these groups, are not friends at all, but would be downgraded to acquaintance status. Acquaintance - having knowledge of or familiarity with, but not on an intimate level. Having factual knowledge of someone or thing, i.e. being acquainted with certain foods or wines, acquainted with a topic, or having factual knowledge of some historical event or person. Though you may see this person regularly, you only share surface information with them and are somewhat guarded in your interactions with them. You share basic information with them and answers to their inquiries are brief , offering little information.  An acquaintance is in the game with you as long as your interests and beliefs are the same as theirs. The moment there are blatant differences between yourself and them, they are out the door or are telling you why your interests are not interesting,or why your beliefs are wrong and their viewpoint is right and will adamantly tell you why yours are wrong and will not relent to save the relationship, because there is no investment in it by them. They are the ones who want to benefit the most from your relationship. Foremost, you can gauge the level of your relationship with someone in terms of the "depth" of your interactions. The definition of friend or friendship is a much longer one. Friend - A person with whom you are allied in good and bad, in struggle and in causes.A person with whom you are attached to affectionately denoting deep care of them and their feelings. Here are my personal definitions: A friend is someone whom you take the time to build relationship with. You care more about getting to know their thoughts, likes and dislikes rather than making sure they know yours. A friend is one in whom there is mutual trust. They need not worry that I will hurt them or cause them emotional harm. Friendship should be a place of mutual safety for the emotional health and benefit of both parties. If I confide in them , I need not ever worry they will share what I've said and vice versa. They are free to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with me knowing that I will guard and protect that information and they will do the same with mine.
negotiate respectful boundaries. If something is a hot button for one of us, out of love and respect, we will leave that topic alone. It doesn't mean either person loses who they are. It means the relationship is more important than the topic! There may be words that are hurtful due to one's past experiences, so a respectful boundary not to use those words may be needed. There may be a topic from one's past that is too hurtful to bring up, so a boundary not to mention that event may be needed so as not to bring on the painful memory.
Friendship is intimacy. In intimacy, we are willing and safe to share our most secret thoughts and experiences. Intimacy means knowing more than mere surface facts about each other. If all I know of you are your favorite foods and colors, we are not intimate. Intimacy denotes knowing each other in a way few others do,  it is a trusted position. This means much time invested in each other. You should not share intimate information with someone you met 5 minutes ago, or a few months ago. This level of trust takes much time to foster and grow. Intimacy means knowing each others thoughts with a mere glance, no words are needed. It means I am comfortable to be me and you are comfortable to be you , without fear of judgement or condemnation. Friendship means enjoying each others company whether you're out having fun or sitting doing nothing. In true friendship there is no need on either's part to have to entertain the other, you simply feel better by being together, through whatever. An acquaintance will bail when there is no personal gain for them. < This is just a brief summary on what friendship means to me. As I think more, and reflect, there is a novel worth of points to be shared for sure. As I've aged, my definition has evolved on many levels. I now have only a few that have earned this title, because maturity and experience have necessitated constant re-evaluations of its definition. Please, do not feel bad when I say there are "few" in my life. This is by choice. The ones I have now have been hand picked by the Master friend selector Himself. I am blessed and thankful He brought them and removed others. They are each priceless gems in my life , true gifts from G-d and I take every opportunity to tell and show them of their value to me and in my life. I hope this post helps someone differentiate and define what a friend really is.